Please Read the Following Introduction Before Looking Through the Rest of the Site.

To whom it may concern:

First, I must apologize for giving out very little information about myself or my name. Due to the fact that there are children involved, it is necessary not to give out any information that might identify them.

I am writing this letter as I truly believe that it will help people who unfortunately, are involved in the Get (Jewish Divorce) process and are not able to settle their differences peacefully. To back up this letter, throughout the rest of my site, I have enclosed many Beth Din decisions, letters from different Rabbis, which speak for themselves, and letters from other individuals involved in this case which will fully back up my statements. They also show what happens when either party refuses at first to go to the Beth Din, and then afterwards come back to them only for the Get.

These have been sent through email to Jewish communities and many newspapers all over the world. Please read, print and distribute the letter as well as the corresponding Beth Din decisions and letters to your and other Jewish communities nearby. Also if you can, please try to put it in your shul bulletin and in any local Jewish community newspapers. With your help this information will be made known as far and wide as possible, so that it can help people deal with the Rabbis and courts properly. We all have to take upon ourselves the responsibility to make sure that the Rabbis do not shirk from their responsibilities and duties after the Get is given.When the Get issue is finished with, many Beth Dins try to avoid dealing with all the other outstanding issues remaining, so it is up to all of us to make sure that this does not continue to happen or it will spell the end to people taking any of their claims including the Get, to the Beth Din for closure.

Based on the numerous responses I have received, I wish to clarify several matters. First, I have been involved in this type of situation and have experienced many of the problems brought out in the letter, so my knowledge is first-hand. Second, many similar cases have been brought to my attention and they follow the same pattern. Based on my knowledge and experiences, I can say with confidence I have the knowledge to be able to write this letter and be sure of its contents. Again I repeat I have enclosed a number of Beth Din decisions, and letters which confirm most of the statements made.

I hope this information will help as many people as possible, to avoid the pain that others have suffered in these types of situations and that it will be used repeatedly to stop the injustice that is being committed in the Rabbinical courts after the Get is given. I also have in my possession, documents which conclusively prove, that if one party lies about the other while in the throes of marital battles in Civil or Rabbinical Court, the other party has no obligation to ever give the Get until the other party admits the truth openly and clears their name in writing.

The Beth Din decisions I have enclosed on this site are of just such a case, where there never was an obligation to give a Get by the husband, until the guilty party, in this case the wife, would admit the truth. The Hebrew decision by the Beth Din in the last paragraph clearly states that the wife lied and defamed the name of the husband. Furthermore, in this particular case, the wife went even further and attacked her own young children, accusing them of committing violence against her, using them to forward her own claims before the civil court. This is an example of how far someone will go to achieve their aims, even using their own children to accomplish their objectives, without regard to the damage that is done to them, all the while claiming to love them.

Depending on the case, either party at some time, may defame the name of the other, so the choice for both if this happens, is not give or receive the Get until their name is cleared fully to their satisfaction.

If you have any hesitations in using the Beth Din decisions on this site, because there are names listed, I have asked and received permission to use these decisions and letters by one of the parties named, and the original documents all remain in this party's possession.

If you have questions, or comments please feel free to email me at webmaster@jewishdivorce.com. Otherwise, please print this page as well as the other material on this site and distribute it as widely as possible.

Thank you again for your consideration and patience.

Kol Tuv (All the best)

The Giving of the Get and its Implications in Modern Times

There are two methods in dealing with closure in regards to ending a Jewish religious marriage.

The first method is to go to a Beth Din, sign an arbitration agreement, and let the Beth Din decide all the issues including the Get according to Jewish law, and then go to Family (civil) court, only for closure on the uncontested civil divorce.

The second method is to go to Family (civil) court to decide all the issues, except for the Get, which would be handled by the Beth Din.

 I must clarify before I begin, that the only way according to Torah law that all these issues can be dealt with, is in a Beth Din only, and nowhere does it state in Halacha that you have the right to go to secular court at any time. However, I face the realities that some people will ignore Halacha and go anyways and that is why I have stated the two methods in dealing with closure and the consequences related to each.

Let us first deal with the method of having the Beth Din decide all the issues:

In this case one must make sure of the following:

The arbitration agreement must state clearly that the Get will not be given or accepted by either party until all other matters are dealt with, and that the Family (civil) court has agreed to accept and enforce the Beth Din's ruling.

The reasons for this are as follows. The first reason is that in many areas of the world, the courts refuse to respect or follow the Beth Din's decisions, and once the Get is given, there is no way to enforce the Beth Din's decisions if the other party refuses to comply. The contention that the Beth Din has the option of issuing a "ksav seruv" in order to enforce their judgements, is a denial of the reality of our modern times.

Anywhere in the world except for Israel, there is no legal mechanism for the Beth Din to enforce its decisions. Therefore, their decisions can be successfully challenged and be disregarded with total contempt. Because of this, the Beth Din will try to have the Get issue resolved first, even before knowing whether either party will challenge their decision regarding the other matters in a secular court.

The second reason is because of the above mentioned problem; that once the Get is given, one finds that the Beth Din's enthusiasm wanes in regard to settling all other matters that still have no closure. Because of this and other problems, both parties must protect themselves, and refuse to deal with the Get until all other matters are settled to their satisfaction by the Beth Din.

Now let us deal with the second method; of letting the courts deal with all the issues except for the Get.

In every case where either the husband or the wife decides to go to a secular court, and not to a Beth Din for all issues except the Get, and the other party is willing to go to the Beth Din and accept their decisions in all areas, the following is true. The party willing to go to Beth Din has the right and obligation when the other party comes to Beth Din to settle the Get, to insist that no Get be given or accepted until that party relinquishes everything they have won in secular court, and signs an arbitration agreement allowing Beth Din to rejudge according to Jewish law, all issues brought to its attention only by the party that was willing to go to Beth Din.

Also, the party that went to court must pay all court costs incurred by the party willing to go to a Beth Din and abide by its decisions. If these terms are accepted by the party that went to court, then the Get should be given, provided of course that the Beth Din decisions are accepted by the Family (civil) court and are fulfilled by the other party.

;I have enclosed on this site a copy of a Beth Din's decision, dated the 10th of Nissan 5757 which fully supports the above. It states that if one party, after having gone to secular court wants to go to the Beth Din to deal with the Get issue, the other party "has the right to reopen all the issues decided by the secular court and have them rejudged according to Torah law and the Shulchan Orach." With this, I am also enclosing the same decision in Hebrew dated the 28th day of Nissan 5757. I am also enclosing a letter dated May 21, 1997 confirming the Beth Din's decision, that all financial damages caused by the party that went to court could be claimed by the other party who had wanted all matters to be settled in the Beth Din alone.

Finally, based on numerous letters written by some of the most renowned Rabbis of our generation from around the world, concerning a particular case, but which would apply in any similar situation, the following ruling applies. In any case where aspersions are cast upon the other party, and there is proof that they are false, or even if that party truly believes this to be the case, that party has the right to delay or even to withhold the giving of the Get until the truth is clarified and admitted to by the other party.

Please post this letter on your shul's bulletin board, and include itin any correspondence you mail to your members. If there are any Jewish newspapers or periodicals in your area, please forward them a copy to peruse and publish. This is one of a series of letters on this subject that will be forthcoming, and I hope you will review all of them as they come out, and distribute them as widely as possible.

The purpose of this letter being written is to help people who are unfortunately involved in these types of situations. I hope that by using this letter, these individuals can be saved the heartache endured by others that did not have access to this information to help them deal with these and other related issues.

I can only finish and say that I hope all marriages will work out, and there should be Sholom Bais for all, and no one should have to use this information for any purpose, but if unfortunately they do not work out, at least the closure should be done according to the Halacha, with peace and dignity for all.

I thank you all for your time and patience.

Signed Decisions by Various Rabbis and Beth Dins and Their Contradictions

 

How the Toronto Vaad Harabonim keep contradicting themselves	English Beth Din decision concerning the consequences of going to Civil Court	Hebrew Beth Din decision concerning the consequences of going to Civil Court	Rabbinical decision concerning payment of legal costs by the party that went to Civil Court	This letter confirms that the Vaad Harabonim agreed that a Beth Din would be held to deal with all the issues
Letter stating that the Toronto Vaad Harabonim wrote the arbitration agreement	This document you can see contradicts the first document on this page	Arbitration agreement written by the Vaad Harabonim, signed by the wife	Arbitration agreement written by the Vaad Harabonim, signed by the husband	Final arbitration form of the Vaad Harabonim signed by only the husband
Rider to the arbitration agreement signed by only the husband	This letter was written to a judge in the Supreme Court of Ontario stating the Vaad Harbonim's position concerning arbitration agreements	This decision speaks for itself showing the failure of the Toronto Beth Din in dealing with arbitration agreements. Very important!

Pre-nuptial Agreements and Making Sense of the Beth Din

 

England's pre-nuptial agreement

Making sense of the Beth Din and its ramifications

Letters from different individuals involved in this case

 

This letter should be used by all visitors to this site in order not to give a Get until all matters are dealt with by the Beth Din that is dealing with your case. In my opinion, this is the most important document on this site.	Response to the Vaad Harabonim on accusations of impartiality of this Rabbi	Newspaper article written by this Rabbi supporting his position	The lawyers letter to the Vaad Harabonim questioning their motives for convening a Beth Din	Shown are the consequences if you give a Get before all Beth Din matters are ruled upon and resolved
Letter to the Vaad Harabonim requesting they enforce their decisons equally with the husband and wife	After writing this letter and receiving the response, I was inspired to create this site

 

Articles

 

Marital Conflict: Is Divorce the Solution?	Rabbis tell woman married in U.S.: Choose divorce or jail	Under Jewish law one Jew can only sue another in a Jewish court

 

Women Abuse Articles

 

Control by the powerholic - Ten warning signs

Control and its effects on his present or future parent-in-laws - Seven warning signs

Divorce, Israeli style, and its abuses

An Un-Orthodox Divorce

 

Women Abuse Links

 

Jewish Women International - Resource Directory

The Awareness Center - Domestic Violence in Jewish Homes

 

Men Abuse Articles

A heartbroken father and his pain

Fathers and their loss of access to their children

Women emerge as aggressors in Alberta survey

Men and women are equals in violence

 

Men Abuse Links

 

Mishpat Tsedek: Promoting Authentic Jewish Marriage and Divorce Law	Get a Marriage: Torah Law on Marriage and Divorce
Memoirs of a Father's Rights Activist

 

 

Links to pages concerning all aspects of the Get and its problems

 

Judaism 101: Divorce	Kayama.org: Why Should I?
Divorceinfo: Jewish Divorce Issues	JWI: Agunot Organizations
Jewish Law Articles: Divorce Mediation	Jewish Law Articles: Jewish Divorce and the Role of Beit Din
Jewish Law Articles: Jewish Marriage and Ontario Law	Jewish Law Articles: Domestic Relations Law 236B
Jewish Law Articles: Child Custody in Jewish Law	Jewish Law Articles: Getting a Gett in Australian Courts
Jewish Law Articles: Error in the Creation of Jewish Marriages	Jewish Law Articles: Legal Guide to Prenuptial Agreements
Jewish Law Articles: A Suggested Antenuptial Agreement	Jewish Law Articles: The New York State Get Bill
Jewish Law Articles: The New York Get Law: An Exchange 1	Jewish Law Articles: The New York Get Law: An Exchange 2
Jewish Law Articles: Comments on the New York State "Get Law"

 

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