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       The Giving of the Get and its
    Implications in Modern Times

 There are two methods in dealing with closure in regard to ending a Jewish religious marriage.

The first method is to go to a Beth Din, sign an arbitration agreement, and let the Beth Din decide all the issues including the Get according to Jewish law, and then go to Family (civil) court only for closure on the uncontested civil divorce.

The second method is to go to Family (civil) court to decide all the issues, except for the Get which would be handled by the Beth Din.

 I must clarify before I begin, that the only way according to Torah law all these issues can be dealt with, is in a Beth Din only, and nowhere does it state in Halacha that you have the right to go to secular court at any time, but I face realities that people will ignore Halacha and go anyway, so that is why I have stated the two methods in dealing with closure and the consequences related to each.

Let us first deal with the method of having the Beth Din decide all the issues:

In this case one must make sure of the following:

The arbitration agreement must state clearly that the Get will not be given or accepted by either party until all other matters are dealt with, and that the Family (civil) court has agreed to accept and enforce the Beth Din's ruling.

The reasons for this are as follows. The first reason is in many areas of the world, the courts refuse to respect or follow the Beth Din's decisions, and once the Get is given there is no way to enforce the Beth Din's decisions if the other party refuses to comply. The contention that the Beth Din has the option of issuing a "ksav seruv" in order to enforce their judgements, is a denial of the reality of our modern times.

Anywhere in the world except for Israel, there is no legal mechanism for the Beth Din to enforce its decisions; therefore their decisions can be successfully challenged and be disregarded with total contempt. Because of this, the Beth Din will try to have the Get issue resolved first, even before knowing whether either party will challenge their decision in regard to other matters in a secular court.

The second reason is because of the above mentioned problem, once the Get is given, one finds that the Beth Din's enthusiasm wanes in regard to settling all other matters that still have no closure. Because of this and other problems, both parties must protect themselves, and refuse to deal with the Get, until all other matters are settled to their satisfaction by the Beth Din.

Now let us deal with the second method, of letting the courts deal with all the issues except for the Get.

In every case where either a husband or wife decides to go to a secular court, and not to a Beth Din for all issues except the Get, and the other party is willing to go to the Beth Din and accept their decisions in all areas; then the following is true. The party willing to go to Beth Din, has the right and obligation when the other party comes to Beth Din to settle the Get, to insist that no Get be given or accepted, until that party relinquishes everything they have won in secular court, and signs an arbitration agreement allowing Beth Din to re judge according to Jewish law all issues brought to its attention only by the party that was willing to go to Beth Din.

Also the party that went to court must pay all court costs incurred by the party willing to go to a Beth Din and abide by its decisions. If these terms are accepted by the party that went to court, then the Get should be given, provided of course that the Beth Din decisions are accepted by the Family (civil) court and are fulfilled by the other party.

I am enclosing a copy of a Beth Din's decision, dated the 10th of Nissan 5757 which fully supports the above. It states that if one party after having gone to secular court wants to go to the Beth Din to deal with the Get issue, the other party "has the right to reopen all the issues decided by the secular court and have them re judged according to Torah law and the Shulchan Orach." With this I am also enclosing the same decision in Hebrew dated the 28th day of Nissan 5757. I am also enclosing a letter dated May 21, 1997 confirming the Beth Din's decision that all financial damages caused by the party that went to court, could be claimed by the other party who had wanted all matters to be settled in the Beth Din alone.

Finally based on numerous letters written by some of the most renowned Rabbis of our generation from around the world, concerning a particular case, but which would apply in any similar situation, the following ruling applies. In any case where aspersions are cast upon the other party, and there is proof they are false, or even if that party truly believes this to be the case, that party has the right to delay or even to withhold the giving of the Get until the truth is clarified and admitted to by the other party.

Please post this letter on your shul's bulletin board, and include in any correspondence you mail to your members. If there are any Jewish newspapers or periodicals in your area, please forward them a copy to peruse and publish. This is one of a series of letters on this subject that will be forthcoming, and I hope you reviewed all of them as they come out, and distribute them as widely as possible.

The purpose of this letter being written is to help people unfortunately involved in these types of situations. I hope that by using this letter, these individuals can save the heartache endured by others that did not have access to this information to help them deal with these and other related issues.

I can only finish and say I hope that all marriages will work out, and there should be Sholom Bais for all, and no one should have to use this information for any purpose, but if unfortunately they do not work out, at least the closure should be done according to the Halacha, with peace and dignity for all,

I thank you all for your time and patience.